We don't know who wrote this but we like it

We believe it should be read aloud with a Sussex accent
   

A bit of binder string
   
  Dost mind Bill Bates as used to work for Drake at Badgers End
  There weren’t a tool upon t’farm this fella couldn’t mend
  From an ‘ayfork to an ‘arvester or any mortal thing
  Old Bill could always fix ‘em wi a bit of binder string
   
  One day the Friesian bull got out and raged and tore around
  Nobody dared go near ‘im as ‘e raged and ‘ooked the ground
  Till Boss shouts ‘Bill the bull’s got out and been an’ broke ‘is ring’
  And Bill lassoed the beggar wi a bit o’ binder string
   
  Bill courted Mabel seven year and then ‘e said ‘Let’s wed’
  I’ve got a table an’ some chairs an’ granny’s feather bed
  There’s ‘alf a ton of taters up in field as I can bring
  An’ I’ve made some ‘andsome doormats out of this ‘ere binder string
   
  Well Mabel said ‘We’d best get wed afore they cut the ‘ay’
  So they ‘ad a slap up wedding on the seventeenth of May
  But when they got to church Bill found ‘e’d gone an’ lost the ring
  So ‘e ‘ad to marry Mabel wi’ a loop o’ binder string
   
  Next year a little daughter came to bless the ‘appy pair
  Wi’ girt blue eyes like saucers an’ a tuft of ginger hair
  And Bill ‘e says to parson at the baby’s christening
  Her ‘air be just the colour of a bit o’ binder string
   
  Now time went by and old Bill died an came to ‘eaven’s door
  ‘E ‘eard ‘em all a singing an ‘e was worried sore
  An’ ‘e says to good St Peter ‘Zir, Oi never larnt to zing
  I was allas kept too busy mending things wi binder string
   
  Now Bill ‘e do in ‘eaven bide, e’en very ‘appy there
  ‘E’s got a little table round be’ind St Peter’s chair
  An’ while the angels play their ‘arps and all the choirs do zing
  ‘E’s busy mending cherubs toys wi bits o’ binder string
   
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