Thingummy

(When my wife was a child she was often read a long rhyme written with children in mind for Reckitt & Colman to advertise some of their products. It is a delightful rhyme and has some really good word pictures in it. One or two of these and the metre of the rhyme have been used below)



The thingummy-jig in the hall they tapped
And the needle moved over to storm
The wind was still and sunshine was nil
And the atmosphere muggy and warm

They wanted a dive on the coast at five
Eight divers intrepid and brave
They blew up the boat and got it afloat
On the rollicking, frollicking wave

The eight stowed aft in that crazy craft
Surrounding the cox in his cap
The pointed end rose as you would suppose
And the anchor fell out with the map

The waves they rose and the wind did blow
And the old craft wallowed and yawed
The engine was tired - with a bang it misfired
And frightened the divers on board

The engine missed and died with a hiss
The cox shouted with vigour and vim
"Well this is a blow, you must give us a tow
Get into the water and swim

The water swirled and the rain came down
And the cox in a murderous state
Grabbed hold of a spanner and a forty pound hammer
And bludgeoned the engine in hate

He said "Oh my!" as he wiped his eye
As the engine spluttered and wheezed
And the rest of the crew, they caught it too
And sneezed and sneezed and sneezed

Now divers know, when they’re feeling low
That diving should never be done
To dive with a cold – that just isn’t bold
And it’s dangerous let alone fun

With the dive called off they decided to scoff
(A peculiar diving trick)
They ate without fear and swallowed some beer
And all of the party were sick

The dive was a bore – they returned to the shore
And the gear was repacked in bright sun
They motored off home, away from the foam
Saying "Wasn’t it bloody good fun"